By Debbie Ausburn

Our family loves to travel, and we have always taken a collection of younger relatives and friends along with us. Here are some techniques that we have learned make trips run smoothly.

1. Follow their interests (but stretch their boundaries). Of course, you have to pick activities suitable for your kids’ ages and interests. At the same time, children typically don’t have enough life experience to know when they are missing out. One brilliant technique that I learned from a friend is to give each child responsibility for planning one or more days of the trip. Parents have veto power in regard to safety issues, but no one can complain about anyone else’s choices for the day.

2. Tap into the power of the pack. We always encouraged our older kids to bring along friends. We did not have nearly as much responsibility for entertaining everyone because the friends tended to take over that job. As our kids grew older, we could send them out to the beach or on hiking trails (in groups) while we relaxed inside. Of course, you need to watch for differing group dynamics. Like all of these suggestions, adapt the principle to fit your particular situation.

3. Send kids on their own vacation. Summer is traditionally a time for kids to go to camp, and that tradition is strong for very good reasons. Camps are an excellent place for kids to learn new skills, test their independence, and make new friends. Find a camp that you can trust and that’s within your budget. It will be a good opportunity for your kids to learn to get along without you there to referee, and common experiences create strong bonds.

4. Opt for homes/condos over hotels. We always rented homes instead of hotels whenever we could. That layout allowed the children (and us!) to have some privacy in their own rooms. At the same time, it did not separate the family in the way that multiple hotel rooms might.

5. Plan ahead for approval. If you are raising someone else’s child, then there is always someone else who has to sign off on your plans. Extended trips with foster kids usually require permission from their caseworkers. Stepchildren younger than 14 cannot get a passport without both parents’ signatures, and many court orders require both biological parents to agree to out-of-state travel. Get these details pinned down early, before anyone gets their hopes up.

6. Cheap can also be entertaining. Not every vacation has to involve Disney World. Some of my strongest childhood memories are roadside picnics. The food was our usual fare, but changing the meal’s location to a concrete table in a park was magical. A “staycation” with day trips to nearby public parks or national recreation areas can be just as entertaining for your children as an expensive getaway. You probably have several free parks or reasonably priced attractions nearby that you haven’t taken the time to visit. Once you start looking, you likely will be surprised at what you can see in a day trip. Consider going to the Point Reyes National Seashore or to San Francisco, or visit one of the many beaches in Mendocino or Sonoma Counties. Doran Beach in Bodega Bay, and MacKerricher State Park and the Mendocino Coast Botanical Gardens in Fort Bragg as well as Clear Lake State Park in Kelseyville are good choices.

7. Plan some downtime. Our final suggestion may be the most important: Don’t commit all of your time. Leave plenty of room for rest or spur-of-the-moment visits. The Internet is filled with stories and videos of the infamous “Disney meltdowns,” when exhausted children (or their parents) just can’t take any more. As my sister said at the end of one long day of a family vacation, “It’s hard work having this much fun.” Leave plenty of time for afternoon naps or just hanging out.

There are many other techniques that can work for your family; these are simply the ones that we have turned to most often. Just remember that the point of a family vacation is for the entire family, including you, to have a break, and for the family to build stronger relationships. You and your family can find your own unique way to meeting those goals. 

The author of Raising Other People’s Children (Hatherleigh Press, 2021), Debbie Ausburn is a social worker, foster parent, criminal prosecutor, and civil trial attorney. She blogs about parenting issues at otherpeopleschildren.org.