Skip to main content

Mendo Lake Family Life

Goal Setting

By Rebecca Hastings

Setting goals is nothing new for many grown-ups (I’m looking at you, New Year’s Resolutions!) But goals are not just for the new year, and they’re not just for adults. Kids benefit from working toward something they want to achieve. Whether it’s a cleaner room or less screen time, kids benefit from setting age-appropriate goals.

Discuss Details — Set a start date and an end date. Kids often need quick wins, so shorter time frames are great. Have young kids go for a few days and build up to a week. Older kids and tweens can go longer stretches, but usually no more than a month. Offering quick wins gives them confidence and momentum to stick with it.

Another important detail is how your child will track progress. Try an app or the classic sticker chart. Even a simple star on the family calendar works.

Decide What to Do — As parents, we can think of a few things our kids could work on! But what will improve their daily life and offer them a chance for success?

If they’re working on being more active, don’t start with walking a mile a day. Start with something fun like taking the dog for a family walk after school. If a clean room is the goal, try making the bed daily. Once they have succeeded in that area, they can build on it.

Walking the dog twice a week becomes four times a week. Making the bed grows to put dirty clothes in the hamper too. Allow each goal to grow over time.

Your Focus Matters — A negative approach won’t get you far. It’s true for us and our kids. While we may want them to stop eating junk food or to spend less time on screens, focusing on the positive yields better results.

Instead of eating less junk food, try eating an extra veggie each day. Cutting down on screen time becomes playing a new card game. Finding something good to do is more enticing than stopping something else.

Secret to Success — We all want our kids to be successful and doing things together helps.

Kids have a hard time saying no when mom or dad sits down to play cards with them or challenges them to race to the mailbox. Even a contest to make your bed the fastest motivates kids to do the work.

Handling Setbacks — None of us want to believe there will be setbacks in goal setting, but perfection isn’t realistic. There will be days when things don’t go perfectly. The key is how you handle it.

Keep in mind: One missed opportunity isn’t a failure. Give grace and keep going. Losing steam feels frustrating. Look back at the progress that has been made. Things sometimes go haywire. Give a fresh start with a shorter time frame.

No matter which method you use, your kids will learn that goals are not a pass/fail system. It’s all about progress.

Reward System — Before kids even start working on a new goal, decide how they will celebrate at the end of the time frame. Will it be going out for ice cream or watching a favorite movie? Maybe a campout in the living room or a trip to the bookstore? What about an extra story at bedtime?

Whatever reward you give, make sure it doesn’t undo the hard work your child has done. The reward should be clear at the beginning and it should be finite. Having ice cream every night now that your child is eating more veggies doesn’t support the goal. The reward is a singular experience to celebrate the progress they made.

To make your child’s goal-setting successful, consider how your child will track their progress and work toward an appropriate reward that is motivating and works for you. For most kids, rewards need to be immediate to associate it with their hard work.

After a week of making their bed, the extra bedtime story is on night seven. When they have walked the dog twice a week for a month, a walk to the ice cream shop is on day 30.

Define goals, track progress, and present rewards to give kids success in setting their own goals now and in the future. 

Rebecca is a published author and former teacher passionate about authenticity, faith, and family. In real life, she can often be found typing words, driving her kids places, or wherever there is chocolate. Connect with her at rebeccahastings.net and on Instagram.