By Sarah Lyons

When you become a parent, it seems like life can become very busy, very quickly. Trying to get enough sleep, juggling work and school, activities, and taking care of little ones often take center stage in the home. While balancing schedules and managing the household, parents must become more intentional about spending quality time with each other. Show your partner how much you love and appreciate them with a little extra pampering this Valentine’s Day. Here are some ideas that are meaningful but aren’t impossible for a busy couple.

Go to the spa. What could make your partner feel more pampered than a day at the spa? Offer to take care of the kids and send your partner off to the salon for a day of relaxing or get a babysitter and go as a couple. If a spa isn’t your partner’s thing, offer to take the kids while he or she spends the day doing a favorite pastime. Your spouse is sure to come home rejuvenated.

Dinner in. When our children were young, a babysitter was not in the budget. My husband and I would put the kids to bed early once a week and either get take-out or cook a special meal at home. No TV, phones, or electronics; just conversation and quality time together. For busy parents, a quiet night is a perfect way to unwind.

Date night. A date night is always a great way to connect. Plan a night on the town doing things that you and your partner enjoyed before you became parents. If hiring a babysitter isn’t an option and family is unable to help, try swapping with another couple. Watch their children for them while they enjoy a date night one weekend, and they can watch your children the next weekend while you and your spouse go out on the town. 

Surprise them. Let your significant other know you are thinking about them by sending a surprise to their workplace. Flowers are nice, but also try cookies, balloons, a homemade treat, or even mail a card with a special note to their workplace. You could also take them to lunch if their schedule allows.

Do their “job.” In most relationships, responsibilities are divided between the two people, whether intentional or not. As a way to pamper your significant other, do one of their “jobs” without them asking. For example, if your spouse always mows the lawn, do it for them. If your spouse usually does all the grocery shopping, offer to do it one evening. Another idea is to let them have the “day off” and do all of their normal responsibilities that day.

Leave a note. If you want to make your partner feel special, leave them love notes. Simple and sweet notes like “Thinking of you,” “I love you,” or “Have a great day” will let them know you care. Have fun with it and try leaving notes in a coat pocket, in their coffee mug, in their car, or anywhere else you know it will surprise them.

You pick. If your relationship is anything like mine, we come to a compromise on what we would like for dinner, what movie to watch, or what activity we will do. Give your partner the chance to pick what you will do the whole day. There can be no complaining about their choices, just focus on doing the activities your partner enjoys doing with you.

Pick up a fave. One of my favorite ways to let my husband know I am thinking about him is to just pick up a favorite of his while I am out. If I am at the gas station, I grab his favorite drink, gum, or candy. At the grocery store, I pick up his favorite ice cream or snack. I rent a movie he likes, cook his favorite meal, or buy him a shirt with his favorite sports team logo. It doesn’t have to be an expensive gift, just something to let him know I was thinking of him while I was out.

The demands of parenting can leave little time for romantic dates with your partner. This doesn’t mean that working on your relationship and making your spouse feel loved and appreciated isn’t a high priority. During the busy years of parenting, try these tips to show one another you care and keep your relationship going strong. 

Sarah Lyons and her husband, Justin, have been married for 20 years and have six children together.